Falling Back In Love

I was sat listening to the most beautiful guitar riffs I've heard in a long time (no really, listen to Simple Pleasures by Jake Bugg), and I thought of you. It was also at that exact moment I was facing a scary moment of nostalgia, as I tried to recollect all the things I have accidentally fallen on out of love with in the hopes of trying to fall back in love with them. So here's a couple that came straight to mind: Jake Bugg's 'Shangira La' album (no, I wasn't kidding, go check it out) and you.

I'm here to announce - I'm back. Maybe not to the same extent I was two years ago (picture this: a confused teenager scurrying back from ballet class to upload their blog post in between jumping into the shower to escape their mum yelling at them that dinner's on the table), but back none the less. Not so much because I feel obligated to, but because I missed writing to you and because it's in moments like this - listening to albums I would love other people to listen to - that I am glad I created a platform in which I could do so (score confused teenager!). I will minimise parenthesis usage now.

You should be happy to hear that I am finished with exams for at least a quarter of a year. I am. Happy that is. To be honest, the reason is simply because I graduated high school and that means that I will consequently have less exams due to, well, less school. It's for that reason that I thought it a good time to re-start-up (re-establish? Sorry) my blog, as a place to document thoughts, emotions and opinions. So here I am, in that confusing space between high school and university/college where I'm still debating what I want to do with my life. What do I want to do with my life? Good question.

Before I get ahead of myself, I would like to address high school. High school was, in tradition and true to it's reputation, a hole of hell for me. I made good friends, and I met amazing people, but I constantly felt suffocated in a place which I could not wait to get out of. The reason I put this blog on pause for a while was because I was so overwhelmed with educational and personal demands, that I realised that my blog was going to become an overbearingly negative place. Getting out of high school was an enormous relief for me, and I didn't shed one tear at graduation because I will not miss it. I may miss the people in there, and seeing my friends routinely everyday, but never the place.

I'm not bashing the education system I am surrounded by, and I am constantly thankful for the opportunity to gain a quality education, by any means. I am simply stating that as a teenager (we have all been there) I found the whole system exhausting. I mean, most days I had to wake up before five thirty, to catch a six thirty train only to get home by four thirty in the afternoon. On some days I would have after school activities, and then come home only to do more school work which would take me to seven thirty when my mother would no-excuses serve the whole family dinner. After dinner came a shower, if I hadn't fit it in before, and then back to school work till about eleven on a good day. Rinse and repeat. Tell me that's not tiring to read. So I perceived graduating high school as not only a new, exciting chapter of my life, but also as an opportunity to pursue interests that appeal to me, without the restraints of a syllabus or the pressure of an exam.

I went to a coding workshop a couple of weeks back, and while it was tremendously confusing, it fuelled my interest in coding. I'm not going to be a millionaire mobile app developer by the end of the year, or any following years in the foreseeable future, but coding is something that really interests me and so I took the time I had to spare as an opportunity to pursue it. In addition to that, I have been taking online courses about coding, but also to establish my ability to use software such as Microsoft, so that I can put it on my resume and have some credibility to my claims. So I suppose you could say that I am falling in love with some things, now that I have been given the time to do so.

Today I'm here to discuss falling back in love with things though, and so I have composed a list of a few of them:

• Gaming: little do you guys know that I thoroughly enjoy both playing and observing games. There are entire branches of huge platforms (YouTube, Reddit) that are entirely dedicated to gaming communities, and as a person that has grown up around an avid gamer (my brother), I think it's incredible to see how it has evolved into a respected hobby and career.
• Reading: oh how I have missed you. Considering all the time I had to read was dedicated to prescribed texts from my school and texts I chose to compose a project for my school work, it felt like a dream to pick up a fiction novel of my own choosing and enjoy the bliss of reading it. So far I've read 'A Long Way Down' by Nick Hornby, 'All The Bright Places' by Jennifer Niven, 'The Jungle Book' by Rudyard Kipling (one of my all time favourites) just to name a few. I've been trying to read books that will evoke all kinds of emotions from me (for example, I didn't at all like every aspect of Niven's teen tragicomedy but it was quick to read), as I have been void of them since graduating.
• Documentaries: since downloading Netflix I have been binging on all moving images on a screen. One of them has really stood out for me and that is Ava DuVernay's '13th' - promise me you'll go watch it. 
• TV shows: similarly to docos, it has been a shameless binge fest. Namely on Charlie Brooker's 'Black Mirror' (watch it), 'Gossip Girl' (no shame), 'Avatar: The Last Airbender' (ditto) and 'American Horror Story' (are you proud of me?). I have such a long list of things to start, including Christian Wibe's 'Skam' and 'Making a Murderer', which I have started and has never failed to thrill me. Wish me luck.
• Movies: needless to say, these join this list. I watched Elizabeth Wood's 'White Girl' which was terrible, but redeemed myself with 'Crazy, Stupid Love'. No, really, this dot point should just be romance movies, because that's all I have been watching. 
• Music: again, such a missed pleasure. I will have to write a whole post about this because I don't think a dot point will do it justice.
• Blogging: has this been addressed already? Probably. If not, and if you haven't gathered, I like reading and I like writing my thoughts so I think that should cover it. 

This was meant to be short and sweet, so I'm going to leave here. I missed you, and I can't wait to change this blog to evolve with me. Expect me back soon. 

You know you love me,

I'm joking,

Much love,

Duchess

Movie Review: Aftershock

Hello, hello, hello!

I thought it would be unfair to delve straight back into a post without giving a bit of an explanation first. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you would know that I declared a hiatus just before the Christmas of last year. Doing the maths, or without doing any maths at all, it's not hard to calculate that it's been a substantial amount of time since you've last heard from me on this platform. 

As promised, however, I am following through about hearing from me. To be truthful, I've missed just writing about what I've wanted, and reading about things that purely interest me. Now, if I have time to read, it's a text that I don't enjoy, and if I write, it's for a critical or creative piece which worth will be decided by a number. All that pressure really does take the pure enjoyment out of wanting to write.

I'm not really the kind of person who would complain about getting an education (an exclamation of how much sleep I've got the night before because of school work doesn't count!) so I won't bore you with the depths of how much work I've had to do. I know that you'll understand if I simply say that I stopped writing for so long because of prioritising my school work over leisurely writing at the time, and am continuing with this mindset now. With a four day break from school, I took it as an opportunity for an update, but also a small release. 

During these four days, all of which are public holidays, my family has been able to spend some quality time together from which we had been previously deprived of due to individual commitments. One of our shared interests is that of film, and especially for my father and I, exploring the variation of film within cultures and time periods. That's why, today, we watched a film about devastation and healing: Aftershock by Feng Xiaogang. 

Although I was forced to rely on subtitles due to the foreign language in which it was set, the tragedy that was represented could be felt without dialogue at all. Establishing the film in a familiar familial setting, whether it's familiar to us in practice or just in theory, helps the audience to create a connection to the family and characters being shown. However as the story develops, and a natural disaster that is so commonly known - the 1976 Tangshan Earthquake - unfolds in front of you, the way in which it affects one particular family pushes the audience onto an emotional roller-coaster. 

A true story of forgiveness and healing, this movie is a definite recommend and must watch with the family, although avoid the littlies due to adult scenes, including violence, sex and death. If not to particularly enjoy the film, to comprehend the absolute devastation that this natural disaster caused, and how it influenced so many lives.

One minor, and extremely picky, confusion was felt when a particular character was met. Without a fault in his personality, his voice and acting directly contrasted the emotion that was conveyed through every single other character. Aside from that, this movie was a gut-wrenching journey right from the beginning, with characters you question but appreciate, and with whom you will sympathise and feel for throughout the entirety. 

If you enjoy and/or enjoy movies like this, be sure to check out The Impossible. I watched this a couple of nights ago for the second time, and this time it hit me with even more emotion. Both films a confrontingly accurate depiction of  absolute natural disasters that made me appreciate the fragility of life.

Rate: 8.5/10 -- but make sure you check it out for yourself and tell me what you think below! 

Much love,

Duchess